As my friend Sumit says, God made man, Man made Economics and Economics created the great divide.
As if religion, sub-caste, and region weren’t enough to create disputes, it is your economical, social and financial status that mars your love and life at every step.
Your CTC, the company you work for, your designation, the gadgets you can afford, are the parameters that decide how a person is treated? These days when a man or a woman decides to settle down, it appears as if he/she is looking for a business partner than a life partner. I have met men who are pretty impressed with what I want to achieve in my life, they like the fact that I have a plan in place and I am on my way. But does that take you a long way as a couple? Are you looking for someone who can keep your competition fire burning till you retire? It is not wrong to find someone of your status but what’s disheartening is that the value of human emotions involved is ever depreciating. It seems more like cracking a business deal than ‘holy’ matrimony. I wonder why ‘holy’ in the first place. Lets not get there for now, but why can’t one be judged purely on the person that you are? Why does your CTC matter? And how? Should this be the reason to be shameful of your own blood?
Here is an interesting piece of information I found on Wikipedia, the term ‘Status Quo’ in Israel refers to an informal agreement conducted in 1947 between the secular leadership of the Zionist movement in Palestine and leaders of the Orthodox Jews, this agreement lays down ground rules for the relationship between state and religion in four major issues, lets leave out the other three for they hold no significance here, the surprising of them all is Matrimonial Law! It seems not just Israel but the entire world agreed to it and we further divided ourselves!
It saddens me to know that people drift apart as they grow higher in ranks and with the money in their banks. What happens to your family and friends? Well as they say life goes on…No wonder that people love Karan Johar movies... after all, we go to theatres to escape reality. Indeed the movies have become a family affair; after all “It’s about loving your family!” Pun intended!
As if religion, sub-caste, and region weren’t enough to create disputes, it is your economical, social and financial status that mars your love and life at every step.
ReplyDelete""""""Its not a thumbrule. Sometimes they just save you a future full of agony. How? that will come later..""""
Your CTC, the company you work for, your designation, the gadgets you can afford, are the parameters that decide how a person is treated?
"""""""This is not entirely wrong. These can work as Key Pointers to judge a person in nick of time. Suppose i meet a guy for The Matchmaking Meeting..i wouldnt know a darn thing about him in a meeting or two. These pointers (i know they are not full proof but then what is!) hint at how a man is as a Man is what a Man does.
so this guy that i am meeting is a software engineer after four years...that would make me wonder if he is any intelligent and competent. I wouldnt want to give benefit of doubt to someone i hardly know..or rather getting to know. The company you work for and your CTC can indicate if he has made himself into an able man... better than inheriting a business thats borned by his parents..
Gadgets that he owns ( and i dont mean OTT gadgets..) can give me slight idea about how he keeps himself updated with the changing times. whats wrong with wanting that in your partner especially if you are a tech junkie yourself."""""""
These days when a man or a woman decides to settle down, it appears as if he/she is looking for a business partner than a life partner.
ReplyDelete""""""" Again, is it wrong to expect security and be a bit practical about your future?
above description certainly suits those who actually go for bank balance and/or inherited properly etc. Expecting a penthouse and Mercedes and giving it more priority than the man himself, yes but then those are the golddiggers we are talking about..
but when you expect your husband (breadwinner, man of the house etc etc) to earn a decent money that would give you a hasslefree life, where you know that you need not beg for money in case of any emergency.. when you are assured that your children would embrace career of their choice thats not forced down by your financial situation...wouldnt it make you respect him more for bearing all responsibilities that a man is supposed to? its not business...its practical nature thats prominent in some who have not had a very happy and financially sound childhood.."""""""
I have met men who are pretty impressed with what I want to achieve in my life, they like the fact that I have a plan in place and I am on my way. But does that take you a long way as a couple? Are you looking for someone who can keep your competition fire burning till you retire?
ReplyDelete"""""""If there is a Abhimaan like situation, its bad..its nightmarish..i agree! but whats wrong with having your husband who would prod you a bit when you want to give it all up? Arent ambitious (again not OTT ambitious) men sexy? someone who is not satisfied with just what he has achieved so far but want to grow further?
Being content with what you have must be a very good state of mind but that can also make you dull. There is nothing in this world as attractive as a man passionate for his job and if he is just as or even half passionate about his partner's..that would be a once in a blue moon scenario.It helps to achieve you an equal footing for a couple when both are equally passionate about what they do. That passion does find some way in into their relationship as well. Imagine a wife thats frigid to her husband's achievement, he would be devastated..she should be happy for him and a bit aggressive about his growth...something that would propel him forward when he himself wants to give up (prematurely offcourse..i dont mean a wife pushing his diabetic 60 year old husband)
It is not wrong to find someone of your status but what’s disheartening is that the value of human emotions involved is ever depreciating. It seems more like cracking a business deal than ‘holy’ matrimony. I wonder why ‘holy’ in the first place. Lets not get there for now, but why can’t one be judged purely on the person that you are? Why does your CTC matter? And how? Should this be the reason to be shameful of your own blood?
ReplyDelete"""""" Ashamed of your own blood? no. not really ashamed but sometimes parent use that emotion to drive the point home. when i lost my first job as a salesperson in panasonic, i was quite happy to sit at home, browse the net and do nothing in particular and then one day my father spoke to me when we were eating that "its high time you earn what you are eating" sounds harsh! doesnt it? It did to me as well.. i did not eat whole day, cried on the pillow.. that was my own father.. had never heard such words from him ever!! but now when i get awards, a salary at the end of the month, occassional shopping trips, lunchs in good hotels...i see his point.
I was doing nothing, whiling my time and my education away... if he hadnt said those harsh words to me then, i still would have been sitting at home. I dont know the case in concern here but i would want him to take his parents words a bit positively.
and sonali, are emotions more than enough to lead the life? they are necessary but they are not the only necessity.
a wife for all the love for her husband can support his nomad attitude in professional sense for some months or may be for an year but how long should she go ahead and support her husband who cant seem to find his bearings?
A man struggling in a definite direction would be a different case. Yes in that case the wife should support her husband but i am sure she would be tired one day...she would want someone to take care of her but husband is just busy in carving his career whereas by now he should have done more than that.""""""""
Here is an interesting piece of information I found on Wikipedia, the term ‘Status Quo’ in Israel refers to an informal agreement conducted in 1947 between the secular leadership of the Zionist movement in Palestine and leaders of the Orthodox Jews, this agreement lays down ground rules for the relationship between state and religion in four major issues, lets leave out the other three for they hold no significance here, the surprising of them all is Matrimonial Law! It seems not just Israel but the entire world agreed to it and we further divided ourselves!
""""""Have you seen those tacky old hindi movies where a boy from poor household falls for a rich girl and then her father shows him, her wardrobe blah blah and asks him if he can afford all that... its filmy i agree but thats again a very practical question. Habits as they say are difficult to die..especially when you have lead a life of Have and then change it into have nots. This divide was created to keep these possibilties at the bay...
a girl coming from middleclass household would be more comfortable in another middleclass house than in a millionaire's sprawling mansion.""""""""
It saddens me to know that people drift apart as they grow higher in ranks and with the money in their banks. What happens to your family and friends? Well as they say life goes on…No wonder that people love Karan Johar movies... after all, we go to theatres to escape reality. Indeed the movies have become a family affair; after all “It’s about loving your family!” Pun intended!
"""""""""Yes love is essential...love should be there but then have u heard Saif Ali Khan exclaiming in Hum Tum..
"Sirf pyar se jindagi nahi chalti...tum interior decoration ka course kyon nahi karti.." ;)
Himali, I agree on all your points, but when these parameters make you feel less wanted and unloved, you tend to question them. Pyaar se zindagi nahi chalti... sounds true but all the moolah together cannot fill your heart with the warmth on a cold lonely night. Choose a partner on your conditions, you have the right to do that, but are you over looking somethings? There are people who I know have started late in their careers but have the potential to win the race. I have also known a person who lost everything in his business, including his home, and had a year old toddler and an 8 year old daughter to fend. This was the time that no one could have predicted in his life. Trust me darling, this person is one of my closest relatives. I have seen him and his wife go through these rough weathers together.
ReplyDeleteYou are quite familiar about what kind of twists your life can take, how about looking at the person's potential and that comfort in him, which is enough to take you through in a Cruise ship or a small boat?