Brida... (My version :P)

She meets him regularly knowing that he is trouble for her. He talks his heart out not understanding that it his heart talk sometimes hurts her.

She has always been this way … not just with him, with every person she has met in her 29 years’ journey, she isn’t naïve but she believes that no one should be alone, at least not when she can be there for him/her. This trait of wanting to play everyone’s guardian angel has only scarred her heart which she hides behind those songs of hope, smiles for her baby and the laughter with her friends. She wants to escape somewhere in the forest where she could be with the others like her… the animals as we call them. She wants to escape to the wilderness because she has always felt a certain safety in the wilderness than the concrete jungle could ever provide her. She wants to run away … but not to escape reality but to cry her heart out to the birds and trees, to the clouds who cry with her… and mostly to understand where did she go wrong? Why did she make those choices? Why did the mothers avert her … despite the fact that she genuinely loved them as much as she loved their son and all she wanted was to be accepted…?

She can very well kaput the friendship and be happy. She has done this before and she can do it again. But what she cannot stand is to see him alone…
She knows that he won’t be alone forever and that’s exactly why she prays that he finds someone like her. So he has someone who will be with him through his victories and defeats, trials and testimonials… She wants someone who sees him struggle and be proud of him… someone whose career profile compliments his and they are both proud of each other …someone who can let him fly away with his dreams assuring that she will take care of everything until he returns…Someone who wants to raise the family and keep them in tender loving care and support when he is away working hard to give them the life they deserve…and when the little ones are upset for daddy is always away she will gently make them realize how daddy is with us all the time and that every thing he does is for them… :)

She longed to be that woman… she will never be…
She knows that there are no miracles in life, no foretold destinies… just choices…
He has made his…. And so has she…

Thank You :)

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep;
Guide us through the starry night,
and wake us with the morning's light.
I ask not for myself alone,
but for thy children--every one.

Yes, we all are God’s children… and he has given all of us a guardian angel who watches over us. I have always wondered, the reason why a soul takes birth, it cannot be merely to go through the same routine? Why do some of us suffer all the time and the rest remain untouched by the smallest suffering in the world? Why do our loved ones part when we need them the most? Why do we worship idols when God is omnipresent? Do we need to hail God through mantras to secure a place in heaven? Who said that if the wife dies before the husband, she is pious? Is God so cheap to be tricked with a ‘mannat’?

You are free to criticise but my questions were answered by this wonderful book and I must thank the God for allowing his laws to be re-explained to us on Earth. Big thanks to God, to Ratoo, Vispi and their wonderful parents, Khurshed and Rumi Bhavnagri.

Although I have read only 1/10th of the book, it has answered many of such questions that continue to havoc my mind and thus my life. Today, I understand that there is no other objective or mission to our lives but to rise to a new spiritual maturity. This does not mean that one should give up on all the worldly comforts and ways of life. It only means that one should be true to themselves and to every creation of God. It’s as simple as analyzing the very statistical data at our office. Just take a look back at your life and analyze what you have done so far… have you harmed or hurt anyone? Have you cheated anyone? Have you misused anyone for your own selfish motives?

Being selfish is not a vice but being too selfless, definitely is! But you should understand how selfish or selfless you must be … and that’s why we are here…
Being pretentious is not cunning, but justifying it in a prayer is! Being judgmental isn’t unjust provided you judge yourself well…
Being hurt every time doesn’t make the world a devil’s lair but merely one’s immaturity to deal with situations and learning from them…

God has given us birth to mature our souls and rise to the higher realms. I don’t know how mature I am or will be in this life but I know that I have found answers and peace within… I no longer question God’s wisdom for I know that he brings me at a point where the road forks and that’s where I choose… I live …I learn.

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
Thank you for another day,
A chance to learn, a chance to play
Amen

Kati Patang

Read on for those who are waiting for Kites…


Kites isn’t such a bad movie… it’s badly made by Papa Roshan for dearest Hrithik. After all which parent doesn’t want to show how handsome his/ her son is? But wait a minute, hasn’t he done that already in KNPH, Koi Mil Gaya, and Krish? Of course he has, but we didn’t know how s**y Hrithik could look as a latino… although he is an Indian in Vegas... How he gets there… go ask Papa Roshan.

Hrithik plays ‘J’ (yeah that’s the name of the character and not the ‘jealous’ factor). Supposedly a money lover and a part time dance coach, marries at least a dozen illegal immigrant women like Linda (Barbara Mori), only to earn quick money for himself and get them a green card! He does not realize he loves her until they meet at his girlfriend’s (Kangana) house. Here Linda is engaged to Kangana’s brother. The brother is a typical las vegas-casino-owner-big-daddy’s spoilt brat, who must have everything he sets his lusty eyes on! Lady Linda is no damsel in distress, she agrees to marry the brat so she could have enough money for her family back in Mexico.

This is when the money lovers understand money can’t buy you true love… and begins a long trail of the brat & Co., LVPD and Bounty Hunters following the star crossed lovers! After years watching Hollywood movies and presuming that Hollywood cops are better than Bollywood cops is trashed when we see the LVPD doing such a lousy job! Here is a wonderful dialogue by the brat’s unfaithful at-the-climax Jamaal: Money can buy you happiness, if you know where to shop! A very thoughtful dialogue. Applause!

Hrithik is a skilled dancer but Papa Roshan didn’t know where to zoom-in or zoom out, as a result, you end up irritated with bad camera angles, esp if you are a dance lover! MJ is an inspiration in the dance moves but there will be no man like MJ ever who also knew how to make the audience go wild.

Hrithik is undoubtedly looking like a mixed Indian Mexican offspring and Barbara is beautiful.

Kangana is wasted. She plays the same psycho as she has in her previous movies but this time she doesn’t have more than 4-5 mins of screen time! Thanks to Papa Roshan for sparing the audience from her scarier-than-evil crying.

Barbara is beautifully exotic and charms the audience with her Mexican Spanish dialogues, though we don’t understand, they sound sweet.

Kabir Bedi… the handsome old man too doesn’t have much to act in this. I would have preferred him chasing Hrithik than the spoilt brat who does a lousy job at acting!

At the end of the movie, you feel… mmm… a big nothing!

My verdict: What’s the point? You would go anyway… you will most certainly have a little crush on Hrithik or Barbara after watching this :)

Thinking aloud... Love

Love… it eludes you when you are neck deep in it and hovers around you when you want to shoo it away. There are instances in one’s life where one does not want love to be around, for reasons such as family responsibilities, education, career etc. Love is like a bad boy; it chases you until you give in and turns your world upside down. But then what a topsy turvy world it is! Its springtime all the time, at least at the outset :)then starts the fall and the winter crawls in, freezing your relationship. That’s how love has been with everyone around the world. Some of them make it through the winter; whereas, some wither away. Love is put to rest under the snowy cold exterior.

Knowing and experiencing all the seasons of love, I am not giving up on it. Since I have known Love, I have always had this unrelenting desire to find my soul mate. You may laugh at the thought that soul mates exist only in Paulo Coelho’s books but I think they do exist in real life too. You just have to search harder. The search is no walk in the park. There are dark alleys where you doubt if it leads to some place… any place! Then there are very well paved patches, which confuse you to think that you are a stone’s throw away from your destiny.

Just as things happen to you when you least expect it, it would happen to me too. And when it does I will know it. I may have made wrong choices, but those have made me the person that I am. All the mistakes that I have learnt from have only made me understand my soul mate better… yes, I know I will understand him better... Thanks to all those, I met en route.

Everything fades away...

The only relationship one should forever be in, is the one with yourself… everything else fades away…

The person, who meant the world to someone, becomes a part of that virtual world that will never exist! Everything said and done becomes a part of that history which will never be written. The name that lit up someone’s face, the smile and laughter that brought happiness, the touch that comforted, the shoulder that unburdened all the worries, the words that guided, the look which was longed for every time the eyes met, the noisy silences,  … is all swept away in the tsunami of differences/ circumstances, which can never be put to rest. All that remains is debris of a broken heart…

Be it between friends, lovers, siblings, etc. there comes a time when we need to continue our journey alone. Fellow travelers will most certainly be around, but we must not attach ourselves with them. Belonging to someone and yet remaining detached, is the life-skill one must learn if not owned. Some learn it by looking at others and some learn it the hard way.

It’s difficult to stay humble and hopeful after the tidal waves have retreated, but its not impossible. The fear always remains, but as they say, life goes on…

Expectations management!

So what are your expectations? That’s a very typical question every guy, I mean a prospective groom, asks me. It’s one of the toughest questions and trust me, I am still trying to figure out a perfect answer. When it comes to arranged marriage, it’s just like striking a business deal or an interview. My parents match the horoscopes, and the profiles. If everything fits then the boy and I meet. I find myself in a very awkward situation when he asks me that question.

 Most of the time, I find my way out of this by counter questioning. I ask him if he could specify what he means by expectations. To which most of them are interested in knowing whether I cook, do I have a career plan in place, do I have any liabilities, how much do I draw, am I religious, would I help his Ma in the kitchen, etc. These things have always made me feel like I have come for a job interview for ‘Mother’s helper’ position! I haven’t ever met a man who asked me about what do I expect from ‘us’ or ‘our life together’. If our parents look for the matching profiles and horoscopes, why can’t we focus on our lives? Our views, our passions, our life together…

 It puts me off when we start discussing careers… why cant he ask me what time do I come home from work because he would like me to be home before he does just to open the door for him. Why can’t he ask whether I have thought about taking a break when our child is born because he/ she will need one of us and that he would gladly be the provider for the family while I nurture it? Why cant he asks me about my passions and share his too, because he does not want to be in the 9 to 5, or 6 now, kind of job and wants to pursue his passions for which he must know how much would I support in pursuing them. Why can’t he ask me about my family and relatives because he wants to know whether I will be accommodating towards his and because our kids must have the grand parents around just as we had? Why can’t he ask me about my friends and tell me about his because he wants to know me better and thinks that eventually we must become each other’s best friends. Why can’t he ask me about my life until then because he understands that just as you are what you eat, your journey teaches you and makes you the person you have become?

 I haven’t found a single person who wants to find a partner, a friend or a companion for life… they all seem to be looking for their mother’s helpers… and that makes me look at them in their muddy shorts which their Mummys lovingly clean up!

 Hmmm… (sigh)…. Where have all the men gone :P

'Sicksth' Sense :P

I see dead people ….naah … not really… but what I mean is, I really do have a sixth sense! And it has forever been by my side … it actually warns me, but just like every brat doesn’t listen to its mother’s warnings, I don’t follow them! I wonder whether I shall call it the sixth sense or the ‘sick’ sense, coz many a times it gives me a sick feeling when something is going to happen… It’s a funny feeling… as if someone is churning all the digestive acids in my stomach and these may just erupt like a volcano! Now don’t ask me which ‘vent’ it prefers :P .... and that explains the spelling in the title.

I guess everyone has this intuition thing but the intensity varies. Now the sixth sense, according to me is a part of your conscience, and as they (whoever ‘they’ are!) say, your conscience is awake even when you are sleeping. So as I sneak into my bed, my 6th sense begins to dream wild (now don’t click on your corrupt files :P). It dreams of people I most dislike and it shows them doing things (no, not those things!) I am least concerned or connected with, I mean, the other day I dreamt of my boss arguing with his wife over the phone… and what are the chances that he was actually fighting with her standing right behind me! The 6th sense doesn’t stop here, it warns me in weird ways, it shows me worldly happenings in my dreams. Trust me, if I were to write them down in a book, it would be the next best seller after Prophecies of Nostradamus! Every Astrologer, I have met so far, (and yes there are many, thanks to my over-the-‘age’-single status) has told me that I must listen to my intuitions if I want to be happy!
Now if I take their advice seriously, I should actually forget changing my status from single to ‘double’ (not in terms of weight… that I am already :P) Coz my silly ‘sick’ sense has never ever dreamt about that ‘andekha anjana’… So I can never really sing ‘Mere Khwabon mein jo aaye’ like Kajol did in DDLJ!
But when I look back, it has in fact danced around with a ‘WARNING’ board in its hands every time it knew something or someone was wrong for me but I shoo it away … The next time it dances around… I will dance with it :)
Thank you Almight 1.. that’s a precious gift!
P.S. I do see dead people .... in my dreams... :P