Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Please read the instructions carefully!

An astrologer asked my mother to warn me about the boy I'm going to marry! Warn... yeah .. warn! He warned me that I should take good care of him because he is a simple guy..."Saadhaa aani Saral" as we say in Marathi. That warning kind of irritated me. From the moment that things have clicked between me and him, everyone has been warning me about this... Reason: I am too 'bold' and 'forward' than he is!
Now, I've met him only 4 times out of which, 2 times with both of our family members surrounding us. If I couldn't, I wonder, how could everyone figure how "Saadhaa" he really is???

My Aai's (mother's) instructions top the list! "Don't do this, don't do that. Don't say this else he would think you are too modern. Don't wear those clothes, he wouldn't appreciate them. Touch elder's feet & seek blessings, to show them respect, this way you'll earn some brownie points (as per Indian standards)." Last one but the worst of all... "Unless you are formally engaged don't hang out too much! You shouldn't even sms him often, else you'll be termed too "desperate" and he would lose all "interest"!!"
Trust me there is no dearth of instructions once you get hitched in an arranged marriage set up.

I am not myself, if I don't speak my mind. I am not myself, if I don't wear a certain kind of clothes I have been comfortable in. I am not myself, if I don't choose whom and how to show respect.

In an age where our parents bring us girls up just as they bring our brothers up, how fair is it then to mould her into the cast she was always a misfit in? It really makes me want to question all Indian men, do they want a wife who is such a puppet? Or would they prefer to let her be herself and respect her for who she is? If the men can have their way, why can't women?
Do not mistake my thoughts to be any different than your sister's or your girlfriends', I am sure they would agree when I say that girls in India, no matter how educated the family, are brought up with a mindset that they have to leave their father's house. Its like they are trained in their father's house and the In-laws' house is where they are put to test, failing which, the mother is blamed for a lousy job done!

Who says life doesn't come with instructions... just get hitched ... the instructions manual will be delivered at your doorstep!


P.S.: I got all my questions, answered! ... Thankfully, there is NO change request! 
Thanks Chinmay... I couldn't have found a better match than you! :)

4 comments:

  1. chill madi & just enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :))))))))))))))))))))))
    I cant wait to see you... :)) both :)))))))))))

    ReplyDelete
  2. @ Himali ... Oh we're totally chilling out and yes I too want you to meet him! :)

    ReplyDelete