“What’s wrong with this one? If you keep rejecting men like this, you would never like anyone! Let me tell you frankly, if you are looking for Prince Charming, you are way past that age! Besides, do you want to get married or not?” That’s a typical statement that a 30 something woman hears after a prospective groom is given a thumbs down. My story is no different. But this is my effort to make all those parents understand that marriage is definitely on our bucket list and will not remain unchecked for longer :)
So here is what we really want…
What a 30 year old woman looks for in a partner is not Raj of DDLJ who sweeps her off her feet right under her Daddy’s nose OR a Richard Gere look alike (c’mon guys, I know he’s old but he IS …. HOT! So beat it!). We want someone who is an extension of us in every way… a partner more than a husband! Someone with whom you share your wildest, as well as the weakest moments; who is not too quick to judge but believes in observing before jumping to conclusions. Someone who is liberal yet celebrates traditional values equally. Someone who treats my family with equal love and respect as I would for his; who understands that although this is OUR life, wifey and hubby need to respect their personal spaces to pursue passions, to grow!
Life is on a faster track than it was ever before. We do not have time for ourselves, let alone for someone else… and that’s exactly why we are looking for a long term relationship, that we call marriage, which acts as our pit stop … to refresh and race ahead…
How can I marry someone who tells me to work for at least 10 years so he can pay off his home loan? Firstly, did you ask me before you bought that home or took the loan for it? Secondly, I cannot guarantee that cause when I become a mother; I want to nurture my baby.
How can I marry someone who expects me to participate in every ‘satsang’ and ‘poojas’ that his parents enthusiastically organize, when he himself scurries out of it? I cannot fathom the need to hail God for a thousand times when its easy to strike a personal conversation with him?
How can I marry someone who thinks my job sucks and I’m better at home instead? I’m sure he won’t appreciate my efforts at home too… Being a home maker is an unpaid, thankless and a full time job!
Dear Parents,
I know you mean well and want your daughter to be happy and find the right guy for her. But here is the problem… she isn’t 16 or 21… She’s 30! She’s now looking for a companion and not just a husband… Be assured, she will soon… She too wants to see happy tears roll down your cheek as you give her away … :)
very nice sonu tai and very true. Dont worry some1 somewhere is made 4 u too. lets c when it clicks......................
ReplyDelete-Priyanka
@ Priyanka, Thanks sweetheart :)
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I am not worried at all ... its my parents :P
U know now its more of a holey matrimony ,rather than holy matrimony .
ReplyDeleteFace it ppl we marry for main 1 reason(there are many reasons bt this 1 hits the bulls eye), just 3 letter words, ppl who say that yes u r approved to have *** with such an such persona becoz of some blah blah blah reason, bt what sonu u have written has much more meaning to it ,as ur looking for a companion not a guy who can be ur "mere" husband .Probably most of the gals here would disagree with more or probably guys too... face it ppl its UGLY TRUTH..the matrimonial market is out there prove ur self :) show ur CTC tell ur expectation and yes in the end just fake it right?
Probably i must write a blog on this. coz i am sure ppl wont understand what i wanna say,so its better i stop my nonsense here and leave the rest to all u "intelligent" ppl out there :)
BTW ur post is good and always look in for a companion rather than mere husband :)
Yes guys the difference is huge
@ Swapnil, WOW.. That was in the face and yes that IS the ugly truth because we Indians are such hypocrites... Its kinda hard to believe that this is the land of Kamasutra, but that's a different track. I would say, its not just about the license to have the three letter word... wait ... why am I being such a hypocrite ... so yeah, sex ... its to also have an arm candy, have all the luxuries that life can provide even if it means cheating yourself and everyone around you. In the matrimonial market as you call it, the depth, the sanctity, the love, the respect and the need to search for your 'life' mate has lost somewhere in our shallow lives...
ReplyDeleteSonali, its a nice post. Very well written.
ReplyDeleteI wish parents could understand that a person wants to get married in today's age to beat the loneliness that he feels even when he is surrounded by a roomful of people...but sadly with a hasty and wrong choice..you can have a spouse and still end up feeling lonely. That basically beats the whole purpose..doesnt it.
so its always always better to wait for the right one to come your way...then you can adjust happily. Mind you.. i am using word adjust and not compromise.. though for matchmaking happy parents its one and the same thing..its not! you can adjust happily for a person you can see your future with... however compromise sounds as if you are giving something away that you dont want to part with.. not a very positive thought to start a new life with someone...
so dont worry.. i am sure parents would understand this sooner or later.. and its just few months right... remember for you, its before this year ends... ;)))
@ Himali... Egjhaktly Princess :P
ReplyDeleteParents do sometimes act like a child throwing tantrums but you need to stick to your rules to discipline it :P Trust me if my Ma reads this I will be grounded!
But on a serious note, thats exactly the reason why ... I'm still waiting...:)
IT was really nice to read..
ReplyDelete@ Anonymous .. Thanks! Glad you liked it:)
ReplyDeleteYou could've at least mentioned your name :)
I understand your feelings, you may be correct, but my taught is different!
ReplyDeleteWhy can’t you put-yourself in your parents shoe and think.. that pain is mammoth.
(Some of the) girls these days are pain, they talk about equality and what not... agreed.. but they expect the man to sweep/vaccum, cook, etc., common-on they are not roomates to share this kind of work.. They lost flexibility, they don’t respect, they damn-care elders. And most importantly they don’t know what they want !!..... Well, why the hell 'that kind' of person will fall for you ?
-Ravi
@ Ravi ... I agree that (why some)majority women have that kind of an outlook; however,expecting a man to share house chores when the woman shares the financial burdens by working isn't incorrect.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand what mammothly pain are you talking about here though ...
I surely agree that flexibility, respect towards your partner and the elders is a pre-requisite but let me also say that its a two way street and thats exactly why I dont expect "that kind of person" to fall for me :)
Nevertheless, I appreciate your comments ... a different insight :)
Goodluck :)
Dear Sonali,
ReplyDeleteyou are absolutely correct if marraige material guys can expect hell lot of things from there would be why we cant expect only to help us in the kitchen or in other stuff. If we can support them whenever they required why they cant support us???? and its not a story about the gal who is 30years old this belongs to the every gal who is at the age of 24 and waiting for their prince charming.
Regards, Devika
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Sonali
ReplyDeleteJust got inspired by your blog...
had written a poem long back...but it was not getting fit anywhere...but it would suit here!!! dedicated to all those girls waiting for Mr. Right!! :)
INTEZAAR...
har lamhaa har ghadi...
pal pal anhad intezaar
har pehar...har kshan
din aur raat
har saans bass intezaar
albela salona swapn sampoorna hone tak
sehar ka intezaar
bass wo hi hai jo mera hai
jo ant tak hai
beintehaan....beshumaar...
anant...apaar
.
.
.
....intezaar
@ Shruty ... Thanks! Lovely poem :)
ReplyDeleteI Like the poem....
ReplyDelete@ Anonymous ... Thank you (On behalf of Shruty :))
ReplyDeleteYou could've at least mentioned your name... Will convey your comment to her.
FYI: Shruty is also a blogger, you will find more of such lovely poems on her blog!
Good luck :)