The Ex-Men!

Yes, you must have guessed what this one is about... Our Ex-men or women... a.k.a. ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Being a woman I will certainly target the opposite sex. Criticism is welcome :)

Recently I've been nursing a broken heart... a friend's to make it clear (don't get any wrong notions ;)) and our conversation is what triggered this post... 

There are all kinds of Ex-es... but the ones I have come across in my circle of friends are 3 kinds :

1. The ones who live & let live, once everything between you two is over.

2. The ones who can be friends after both have moved on

3. The ones who cant live with you but can’t live without you either.

With the first kinds, the rules are set and they honour those rules! There is an unspoken agreement where neither of the partners pop -up like a jack in the box. No surprises, no stalking on the social networking sites or otherwise... :) You can actually start a new life without any blast from the past. 

The second types are the kinds you probably have been friends with. They too give you the required space and you both know that you will continue to like and respect each other and be there for each other too ... only with a different equation than before. Again, this is like sitting on a bomb, unless, you are very sure that your ex is not like 'Ross Geller' who was always truly, madly and deeply in love and you fail to see him hurt every time you go out with a new date! 

The third types are the worst of all... they break all the promises given to you ... that's why they break up with you thinking they just didn't see you "that" way. You separate graciously wishing them good luck.  You are full of bright hopes of a colourful life ahead and thank God, that things with this one didn't work because then life would circle around him all the time. Not that you wouldn't like it to, but that would exhaust you like a donkey after a hard days work! Well yeah a "donkey" ... Remember how they say... Love is blind, deaf and dumb ... it makes you just that when you put your partners needs before yours ... :) So lets call this kind the "third man", shall we?

A few months pass and you move on in your life. The third man too is busy with his life and moved on; at least that's what you hope. Little do you ever think that all this while he has been soul searching and in a deep end of his soul filled with his own wants & worries, he realises that you have always been the ray of hope through his darkest hour and his biggest fan when he was in spotlight!  He jump starts to pour his heart out ... again ... He says things you've been waiting to hear during your days together ... And then just like in the movies, your heart melts ... rather it starts singing "Dilbara" in a dream sequence like Ali's in Dhoom ... from getting married and having kids to growing old together. But then your dream bubble bursts spilling his emotional vomit all over you and you realise that this Third man is either in one of "those" days or simply drunk! ;) He has done this before and he does it again. Many a times, you feel like giving it back just like Kareena does in Jab We Met ... right until "Tere Maa kiii ....." but being a mature individual you decide to just let him ramble on and forget it as soon as the dawn breaks. 

The third man is, obviously, the worst kind of Ex, anyone can have. And its not just for men, this is true in case of women as well. Playing an agony aunt for many of my friends and colleagues, I can easily say that men and women are no different than each other, they both fall in & out of love, go boo hoo - mad at the world... I'm sure you will all agree... after all we all have a heart that has loved and lost .... and found love again ... :)

P.S. Here is a song dedicated to all the Ex-es ... :) 

The Show Is Over Say Goodbye ... (Take A Bow - Madonna)

“19”

A Second Chance ...

Many of us while giving away what comes free … advice … say this “Life does not give you a second chance”. But we all secretly wish it does… for any reason … it could be for that most coveted job interview, for that one rock concert you wanted to attend but couldn’t, for that exam in which you fell short of writing that one answer, for the hurt you caused someone that you wish to heal, for pleading one more time to your parents to see things your way, for that incomplete relationship that you have forever longed to complete …

Many a times life does give you a second chance, but we are so blinded by our ego, our past, our image in the social circles that we turn a blind eye to every sign that says here’s your chance … make the most of it! Even if you want to contemplate that second chance you waste too much time dipping the scales that you either lose momentum or you conclude that it’s just not worth it!! But then again, how would you know if it is worth it or not if you don’t give it a shot? What’s the worst that could happen….? Your life would not change the way you expected … and that’s the fear we all live in. How easily we forget all the little risks that we take in our day to day lives … going to work in crowded trains and buses, investing our hard earned money by trusting a stranger from the bank to invest them properly, by quitting your job to pursue what you really think is your calling, from moving to different cities … isn’t life itself about these little risks we take?

When it comes to relationships it’s a funny game … many a times it’s from everyone involved and sometimes only a one sided affair. They say reel life imitates real life. Karan Johar’s movies especially talk of a lot of expression of love, forgiveness and togetherness. I wonder how these characters muster up the courage to speak, no wait, pour their hearts out to that person who means the world to them. I wonder if real life can ever imitate that! There must be few optimistic people, who do take that chance, I’m sure they do … and make the most of it! Even if it doesn’t work out they are content in knowing they gave it their best shot and smile …

This reminds me the movie, The Runaway Bride, where Ike (Richard Gere) knowing Maggie’s (Julia Roberts) history of being the runway bride proposes her. She eventually doesn’t treat him any different than the earlier grooms; however, once she realizes that he is the one for her she chooses those very words to take that second chance and says, “Look, I guarantee there'll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you're the only one for me.” With a proposal like that, who would not want to give it a second thought?

Of all my favourite artists, I have always found Michael Jackson to be the one who knows best how to put his point across very well and here I am going to make you listen to his songs …. One More Chance …

This is what he sings ..

This time gonna do my best to make it right
Can't go on without you by my side
Hold on
Shelter come and rescue me out of this storm
And out of this cold I need someone
Oh why oh why why why
If you see her
tell her this from me
All I need is
One more chance at love

Give it a sincere listen and take that chance …. :) 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQcfGWo3GSI&feature=player_embedded

Her First Valentines ... :)

It was just another January morning as she got down from the train at the station with her friends to go to college. After the regular See ya Laters” with her friends from other colleges she proceeded on to hers with her suburban friend. She was a crazy fan of pop-music and needless to add crazier for the King Of Pop. She even wore her MJ t-shirt to college. She knew people noticed her when she wore that t-shirt but little did she know that it would also become the reason she would meet her first love!


They had seen each other before but she never gave him a second look or a second thought because she knew he was out of her league… he was handsome! Nevertheless, on that January day she wore the same shirt and he noticed her… He followed her all the way till her college with one of his batch mates as they laughed and mocked at her MJ t-shirt. Unsure because of the traffic noise around, she sensed someone following her… she thought of him but she knew she wasn’t one of those good looking girls for a boy to chase. But as fate had thought it differently than her, she turned around to see him and was pleasantly surprised :)

This became sort of a routine since that day and she too would look around for him at the station, in the college, near his class, at the college hang-out… well, almost everywhere! She liked the attention that she received from the boy who she thought was the most handsome she’d seen. What added life to her dull existence was the fact that she was the focus of his attention despite all the other pretty girls in college who would do anything to hang around a senior! A couple of weeks passed this way until one day a sweet misunderstanding gave the boy the courage to approach her and ask her if they could be friends…

She hesitated a bit but inside her was something that also wanted to know more about this boy. The routine then changed to the stolen glances, sweet smiles and changing schedules… yes he did … he used to change his schedules just to match her class timings …

There was something familiar about him because she was herself surprised at the ease she felt with this stranger like she felt with no one before … not even with an acquaintance! Now she too felt like she was one of the pretty looking girls from her college who was worthy of a man’s love! The void left by her grandma’s death was easily filled with the boy’s attention and love… but being a typical Libran she started dipping her scales of ‘May-bes’ and ‘May-not-bes’ until one fine day just as unexpectedly, as he came in her life, he popped the question. She wanted to smile and say ‘Yes!’ but she held back because she didn’t want to take the plunge and change her plans … she just wasn’t ready! But that inner voice didn’t let her stay put and just a week before Valentines she knew she had met the boy she was going to marry someday … Her life was never the same again … :)

They later separated for the reasons known best to them but every Valentines Day she remembers what her first Valentine card said …

“Sometimes sentimental words are very hard to say…
And that’s why I appreciate occasions like today,
For it’s a chance to tell you, what you surely know is true …
That no one could love anyone more than I Love you!"

That's My Boy!

We met on a rainy August evening at a Coffee Day near my cousin’s house and I knew there was something about him that said he belonged to me. He was all by himself and so was I… lost in our own worlds. We both needed a companion, that strong love on which we can rely and those arms that we can break into every evening as we came home to each other. I guess those were the reasons we bonded instantly. Something in those eyes told me that this time its forever…

But as history repeats itself, this time too my parents weren’t too keen on this boy in my life and it tore my heart to think of letting him go and I stood by him. This time, I wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. .. And if I did... I knew I would regret it for the rest of my life. After heated debates and discussions, about our different lifestyles, tastes, and culture we decided to part ways and only visit each other on occasions. But destiny was in our favour this time around and we were back together, thanks to my brother! It was a pleasant surprise watching Swapnil bring him home for me … :)
Over the time my parents too have warmed up to him.

Although we meet each other on weekends, Swapnil and my handsome have bonded very well. They keep each other good company while I am away in Mumbai. He is an explorer like I was as a child. He loves curling up in my lap just like I used to in my Aaji’s (grandma) as a toddler.
It’s been 6 months now and each time we meet it’s like the first time.
Now, he’s sitting on the sofa watching me with those intense eyes that seem to say “have we met before” … Not his fault really as we are cities apart and I hardly spend time with him. And now as I sit down to write about him on my laptop he hovers around to sniff the fragrance that he can identify me with, after all he is named after my faourite perfume… He looks very handsome when he looks at me that way … and I can’t help falling for this handsome boy all over again :)
As he watches me I toss a ball at him, and he fetches the ball back to me as I call him out … Hugo!

That’s my handsome tomcat … Hugo! What were you thinking? :) 

30 something and a bride- to- be!

“What’s wrong with this one? If you keep rejecting men like this, you would never like anyone! Let me tell you frankly, if you are looking for Prince Charming, you are way past that age! Besides, do you want to get married or not?” That’s a typical statement that a 30 something woman hears after a prospective groom is given a thumbs down. My story is no different. But this is my effort to make all those parents understand that marriage is definitely on our bucket list and will not remain unchecked for longer :)

So here is what we really want…

What a 30 year old woman looks for in a partner is not Raj of DDLJ who sweeps her off her feet right under her Daddy’s nose OR a Richard Gere look alike (c’mon guys, I know he’s old but he IS …. HOT! So beat it!). We want someone who is an extension of us in every way… a partner more than a husband! Someone with whom you share your wildest, as well as the weakest moments; who is not too quick to judge but believes in observing before jumping to conclusions. Someone who is liberal yet celebrates traditional values equally. Someone who treats my family with equal love and respect as I would for his; who understands that although this is OUR life, wifey and hubby need to respect their personal spaces to pursue passions, to grow!

Life is on a faster track than it was ever before. We do not have time for ourselves, let alone for someone else… and that’s exactly why we are looking for a long term relationship, that we call marriage, which acts as our pit stop … to refresh and race ahead…

How can I marry someone who tells me to work for at least 10 years so he can pay off his home loan? Firstly, did you ask me before you bought that home or took the loan for it? Secondly, I cannot guarantee that cause when I become a mother; I want to nurture my baby.

How can I marry someone who expects me to participate in every ‘satsang’ and ‘poojas’ that his parents enthusiastically organize, when he himself scurries out of it? I cannot fathom the need to hail God for a thousand times when its easy to strike a personal conversation with him?

How can I marry someone who thinks my job sucks and I’m better at home instead? I’m sure he won’t appreciate my efforts at home too… Being a home maker is an unpaid, thankless and a full time job!

Dear Parents,

I know you mean well and want your daughter to be happy and find the right guy for her. But here is the problem… she isn’t 16 or 21… She’s 30! She’s now looking for a companion and not just a husband… Be assured, she will soon… She too wants to see happy tears roll down your cheek as you give her away … :)

Waiting For You ... Frog Prince :P

My Dear Future Husband,

I know we haven’t met… yet I am not going to start with the hi how are you… cause I know you are doing pretty well. So let me get straight down to the point!
It’s been a long time I have been waiting for you. Hoping you are right around the corner and would soon show up. Waking up everyday, thinking this could be the day, when the wait will finally be over, but then all my hopes of meeting you today sink with the setting sun. Yet I get up the next day hopelessly looking for you in every passing stranger..
Well, you know what… I am tired of doing all that now!
You are free to think that I am complaining but you have left me no choice! Are you even aware that I have been meeting so many toads hoping this one could be my Prince Charming?

I watch romantic movies and hope you too are as hopeless as I am, well not all that … but just enough to surprise me once in a while… and I don’t mean big surprises… It could simply be going for a ride early morning or very late in the night! All of my friends are married now, they all have babies… and I feel so out of place. Not that I don’t have single friends… I do! But wouldn’t it be nice to have each other instead? I am tired of  answering the same question… and it’s not just the aunties and uncles… but all and sundry… :(
Every time I watch Dirty Dancing or Shall We Dance, I actually dance around in the house posing but you are not the one leading me. My Salsa trainer screamed at me for not creating chemistry with him but I didn’t bother only because I was hoping you were on your way. I sing love songs but all solo, its time I graduate on to singing duets…
I look up at the star studded night sky for a shooting star… to wish for you sweetheart! I want to sit with you on one such winter night at a beach with bonfire to keep us warm… look up at those stars to thank them for falling every time I wanted to wish for you :)
This may sound to you like some crazily romantic living in her fantasy world, but isn’t life about those little moments … that first look when it clicks, that first touch which bonds us together forever, the stolen kisses, the arguments, running in each other’s arms, the endless differences that continue to irritate each other or simply finding someone waiting for you to come home every single day :)
I always think of the moment when we will meet… I will grab your collar, pull you closer and say… What took you so long?
But you’ve taken long enough … now you better have a good explanation for this!

P.S.: I love you and I couldn’t help making this public… I love PDA! :)
It’s all your fault! ;)

30 Going on 13!

19th October, 2010.

Now, I haven’t mistakenly reversed the numbers, I know the movie is 13 going on 30, but this isn’t about that. This isn’t even about something like the curious case of Benjamin Button … Its about my 30^th Birthday!

Oh yes, I turned 30 today. As a teenager, I saw this day as it was for most of the women in my family. I would either be at work or at home, where no one except my husband or kids would know about it. At night we would all enjoy a nice dinner at our favourite restaurant and the day would be over. Not that I don’t want this. In conclusion a few years ago, I had thought of it as a day with mature and subtle celebrations.

Let me tell you it wasn’t even close to those adjectives!

It was as if I was a teenager again. The calls and messages started beeping at the stroke of midnight and didn’t stop until 1:30 pm… well, you see, I am pretty famous :P

Sleeping late didn’t stop me from going for what I love to do the most early morning ride … Get out for a ride with my birthday buddy. We stopped at our regular tapri to have a cutting, took a walk. That’s how the day began…

In the office, I felt like I was back in school, all my colleagues came to my desk one by one to wish me. All of this added to the excitement & I felt like a 13 year old again. I was as happy as I was on my 13^th birthday… happy to be a teenager!

My colleagues surprised me with a present and a cake. I loved every moment of the celebrations where they all cheered and sang the birthday song as I cut the cake. Amidst all of this excitement, I could hardly focus on work & so I went chatting up with my friends online and with my colleagues. I was like a yuppie on a high dose. My colleague even remarked that there was something crazy about me!

Well, as I wrote on my Facebook, what’s the point in growing up if you cant be a kid for a day! And I did just that… went for a crazy ride (which my parents strongly disapprove of :P), cut the cake among a few friends & many strangers, didn’t work , didn’t let others work and came home like a good girl ;)

It did feel like a 13 year old and I did everything like one… well, maybe not all of it ;)

What did Bryan Adams say about being 18 till you die?

This one was one of the most memorable birthdays ever!