That's My Boy!

We met on a rainy August evening at a Coffee Day near my cousin’s house and I knew there was something about him that said he belonged to me. He was all by himself and so was I… lost in our own worlds. We both needed a companion, that strong love on which we can rely and those arms that we can break into every evening as we came home to each other. I guess those were the reasons we bonded instantly. Something in those eyes told me that this time its forever…

But as history repeats itself, this time too my parents weren’t too keen on this boy in my life and it tore my heart to think of letting him go and I stood by him. This time, I wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. .. And if I did... I knew I would regret it for the rest of my life. After heated debates and discussions, about our different lifestyles, tastes, and culture we decided to part ways and only visit each other on occasions. But destiny was in our favour this time around and we were back together, thanks to my brother! It was a pleasant surprise watching Swapnil bring him home for me … :)
Over the time my parents too have warmed up to him.

Although we meet each other on weekends, Swapnil and my handsome have bonded very well. They keep each other good company while I am away in Mumbai. He is an explorer like I was as a child. He loves curling up in my lap just like I used to in my Aaji’s (grandma) as a toddler.
It’s been 6 months now and each time we meet it’s like the first time.
Now, he’s sitting on the sofa watching me with those intense eyes that seem to say “have we met before” … Not his fault really as we are cities apart and I hardly spend time with him. And now as I sit down to write about him on my laptop he hovers around to sniff the fragrance that he can identify me with, after all he is named after my faourite perfume… He looks very handsome when he looks at me that way … and I can’t help falling for this handsome boy all over again :)
As he watches me I toss a ball at him, and he fetches the ball back to me as I call him out … Hugo!

That’s my handsome tomcat … Hugo! What were you thinking? :) 

30 something and a bride- to- be!

“What’s wrong with this one? If you keep rejecting men like this, you would never like anyone! Let me tell you frankly, if you are looking for Prince Charming, you are way past that age! Besides, do you want to get married or not?” That’s a typical statement that a 30 something woman hears after a prospective groom is given a thumbs down. My story is no different. But this is my effort to make all those parents understand that marriage is definitely on our bucket list and will not remain unchecked for longer :)

So here is what we really want…

What a 30 year old woman looks for in a partner is not Raj of DDLJ who sweeps her off her feet right under her Daddy’s nose OR a Richard Gere look alike (c’mon guys, I know he’s old but he IS …. HOT! So beat it!). We want someone who is an extension of us in every way… a partner more than a husband! Someone with whom you share your wildest, as well as the weakest moments; who is not too quick to judge but believes in observing before jumping to conclusions. Someone who is liberal yet celebrates traditional values equally. Someone who treats my family with equal love and respect as I would for his; who understands that although this is OUR life, wifey and hubby need to respect their personal spaces to pursue passions, to grow!

Life is on a faster track than it was ever before. We do not have time for ourselves, let alone for someone else… and that’s exactly why we are looking for a long term relationship, that we call marriage, which acts as our pit stop … to refresh and race ahead…

How can I marry someone who tells me to work for at least 10 years so he can pay off his home loan? Firstly, did you ask me before you bought that home or took the loan for it? Secondly, I cannot guarantee that cause when I become a mother; I want to nurture my baby.

How can I marry someone who expects me to participate in every ‘satsang’ and ‘poojas’ that his parents enthusiastically organize, when he himself scurries out of it? I cannot fathom the need to hail God for a thousand times when its easy to strike a personal conversation with him?

How can I marry someone who thinks my job sucks and I’m better at home instead? I’m sure he won’t appreciate my efforts at home too… Being a home maker is an unpaid, thankless and a full time job!

Dear Parents,

I know you mean well and want your daughter to be happy and find the right guy for her. But here is the problem… she isn’t 16 or 21… She’s 30! She’s now looking for a companion and not just a husband… Be assured, she will soon… She too wants to see happy tears roll down your cheek as you give her away … :)

Waiting For You ... Frog Prince :P

My Dear Future Husband,

I know we haven’t met… yet I am not going to start with the hi how are you… cause I know you are doing pretty well. So let me get straight down to the point!
It’s been a long time I have been waiting for you. Hoping you are right around the corner and would soon show up. Waking up everyday, thinking this could be the day, when the wait will finally be over, but then all my hopes of meeting you today sink with the setting sun. Yet I get up the next day hopelessly looking for you in every passing stranger..
Well, you know what… I am tired of doing all that now!
You are free to think that I am complaining but you have left me no choice! Are you even aware that I have been meeting so many toads hoping this one could be my Prince Charming?

I watch romantic movies and hope you too are as hopeless as I am, well not all that … but just enough to surprise me once in a while… and I don’t mean big surprises… It could simply be going for a ride early morning or very late in the night! All of my friends are married now, they all have babies… and I feel so out of place. Not that I don’t have single friends… I do! But wouldn’t it be nice to have each other instead? I am tired of  answering the same question… and it’s not just the aunties and uncles… but all and sundry… :(
Every time I watch Dirty Dancing or Shall We Dance, I actually dance around in the house posing but you are not the one leading me. My Salsa trainer screamed at me for not creating chemistry with him but I didn’t bother only because I was hoping you were on your way. I sing love songs but all solo, its time I graduate on to singing duets…
I look up at the star studded night sky for a shooting star… to wish for you sweetheart! I want to sit with you on one such winter night at a beach with bonfire to keep us warm… look up at those stars to thank them for falling every time I wanted to wish for you :)
This may sound to you like some crazily romantic living in her fantasy world, but isn’t life about those little moments … that first look when it clicks, that first touch which bonds us together forever, the stolen kisses, the arguments, running in each other’s arms, the endless differences that continue to irritate each other or simply finding someone waiting for you to come home every single day :)
I always think of the moment when we will meet… I will grab your collar, pull you closer and say… What took you so long?
But you’ve taken long enough … now you better have a good explanation for this!

P.S.: I love you and I couldn’t help making this public… I love PDA! :)
It’s all your fault! ;)

30 Going on 13!

19th October, 2010.

Now, I haven’t mistakenly reversed the numbers, I know the movie is 13 going on 30, but this isn’t about that. This isn’t even about something like the curious case of Benjamin Button … Its about my 30^th Birthday!

Oh yes, I turned 30 today. As a teenager, I saw this day as it was for most of the women in my family. I would either be at work or at home, where no one except my husband or kids would know about it. At night we would all enjoy a nice dinner at our favourite restaurant and the day would be over. Not that I don’t want this. In conclusion a few years ago, I had thought of it as a day with mature and subtle celebrations.

Let me tell you it wasn’t even close to those adjectives!

It was as if I was a teenager again. The calls and messages started beeping at the stroke of midnight and didn’t stop until 1:30 pm… well, you see, I am pretty famous :P

Sleeping late didn’t stop me from going for what I love to do the most early morning ride … Get out for a ride with my birthday buddy. We stopped at our regular tapri to have a cutting, took a walk. That’s how the day began…

In the office, I felt like I was back in school, all my colleagues came to my desk one by one to wish me. All of this added to the excitement & I felt like a 13 year old again. I was as happy as I was on my 13^th birthday… happy to be a teenager!

My colleagues surprised me with a present and a cake. I loved every moment of the celebrations where they all cheered and sang the birthday song as I cut the cake. Amidst all of this excitement, I could hardly focus on work & so I went chatting up with my friends online and with my colleagues. I was like a yuppie on a high dose. My colleague even remarked that there was something crazy about me!

Well, as I wrote on my Facebook, what’s the point in growing up if you cant be a kid for a day! And I did just that… went for a crazy ride (which my parents strongly disapprove of :P), cut the cake among a few friends & many strangers, didn’t work , didn’t let others work and came home like a good girl ;)

It did feel like a 13 year old and I did everything like one… well, maybe not all of it ;)

What did Bryan Adams say about being 18 till you die?

This one was one of the most memorable birthdays ever!

Ganpati Bappa Morya... Pudhcya Varshi....

I remember how eagerly I waited for this festival because it would not just mean a visit from my favourite deity but also being a little helper to my Narayan Kaka! Although my help back then would be restricted to staying up late in the night while my Kaka prepared the most beautiful ‘makhar’ year after year J

All the 9 days were filled with sheer joy and bliss. The joy of my ‘Hum Saath Saath Hain’ family union and the bliss of my personal conversations with my dearest Ganpati Bappa every second that I found him alone! Even as a child my conversations never included a wish list; it was either a simple hi or many a times, lots of questions, to which He promptly replied with a smile J

The 10^th day; however, was never so blissful, not because it was His time to return but because I would be scared… very scared! I was scared of hordes of His followers on the streets some dancing, some drunk and some screaming.

The Juhu Chaupati, which I loved to visit with my Mangal Aatya on any given day, would become a site to avoid. As a kid I would fear separating from my folks, and that fear would be evident in every kid at Juhu Chaupati that night. The fear of coming face to face with a malicious stranger kept the parents fiercely protective against every unknown smile.

The last day fiasco still haunts me. And with each passing year it gets scarier because it comes with a new problem …. And I have no solution but to ask Ganapti Bappa Himself to stay put in his heavenly abode.

Dearest Ganpati Bappa,

It was indeed pleasant to have you at our home this time around too, it was special because we decorated your ‘makhar’ J

The reason for writing this is a request … now don’t roll your elephant eyes thinking it’s a mannat; but seriously, do you mind skipping a visit or two, next year onwards because:

1. Although you are here with us, I do not feel your presence anymore. Not because I have grown up & question your existence but because I don’t hear you smile. My ears are too busy protecting themselves from the blasting songs such as ‘Munni Badnaam hui darling tere liye…’
2. All your followers pray to you and ask for forgiveness while conveniently ignoring the other lives they hurt unknowingly, I don’t question your justice but I don’t understand it
3. The kids love you dearly but many share my fear especially when these celebrations begin with loud and polluting firecrackers!
4. The animals all around, the stray and the pets are equally petrified and you see that fear in their eyes but then again it’s too noisy around for their soft voices to reach you and I am not saying this because I have pets!
5. Trust me, the elders ( grandparents/ senior citizens) too resent this fiasco
6. Lokmanya Tilak started ‘Sarvajanik Ganesh Utsav’ with a cause of bringing about an awakening but that very cause is lost!
7. The government has been trying to put a leash on the anti social activities/ elements that are rampant during such festivals, but the results are for all to see…

Lastly, I have been praying to you to bless these ‘Ganesh Mitra mandals’ with a little bit of wisdom and compassion, sorry to say, but I have seen only the reverse effects so far … and now… I am left with no choice but to say….Ganpati Bappa Moryaaaaa… Pudhcya Varshi Yeuch Naka!

P.S. Our culture vultures would probably raid my home if they read this blog!

Brida... (My version :P)

She meets him regularly knowing that he is trouble for her. He talks his heart out not understanding that it his heart talk sometimes hurts her.

She has always been this way … not just with him, with every person she has met in her 29 years’ journey, she isn’t naïve but she believes that no one should be alone, at least not when she can be there for him/her. This trait of wanting to play everyone’s guardian angel has only scarred her heart which she hides behind those songs of hope, smiles for her baby and the laughter with her friends. She wants to escape somewhere in the forest where she could be with the others like her… the animals as we call them. She wants to escape to the wilderness because she has always felt a certain safety in the wilderness than the concrete jungle could ever provide her. She wants to run away … but not to escape reality but to cry her heart out to the birds and trees, to the clouds who cry with her… and mostly to understand where did she go wrong? Why did she make those choices? Why did the mothers avert her … despite the fact that she genuinely loved them as much as she loved their son and all she wanted was to be accepted…?

She can very well kaput the friendship and be happy. She has done this before and she can do it again. But what she cannot stand is to see him alone…
She knows that he won’t be alone forever and that’s exactly why she prays that he finds someone like her. So he has someone who will be with him through his victories and defeats, trials and testimonials… She wants someone who sees him struggle and be proud of him… someone whose career profile compliments his and they are both proud of each other …someone who can let him fly away with his dreams assuring that she will take care of everything until he returns…Someone who wants to raise the family and keep them in tender loving care and support when he is away working hard to give them the life they deserve…and when the little ones are upset for daddy is always away she will gently make them realize how daddy is with us all the time and that every thing he does is for them… :)

She longed to be that woman… she will never be…
She knows that there are no miracles in life, no foretold destinies… just choices…
He has made his…. And so has she…

Thank You :)

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep;
Guide us through the starry night,
and wake us with the morning's light.
I ask not for myself alone,
but for thy children--every one.

Yes, we all are God’s children… and he has given all of us a guardian angel who watches over us. I have always wondered, the reason why a soul takes birth, it cannot be merely to go through the same routine? Why do some of us suffer all the time and the rest remain untouched by the smallest suffering in the world? Why do our loved ones part when we need them the most? Why do we worship idols when God is omnipresent? Do we need to hail God through mantras to secure a place in heaven? Who said that if the wife dies before the husband, she is pious? Is God so cheap to be tricked with a ‘mannat’?

You are free to criticise but my questions were answered by this wonderful book and I must thank the God for allowing his laws to be re-explained to us on Earth. Big thanks to God, to Ratoo, Vispi and their wonderful parents, Khurshed and Rumi Bhavnagri.

Although I have read only 1/10th of the book, it has answered many of such questions that continue to havoc my mind and thus my life. Today, I understand that there is no other objective or mission to our lives but to rise to a new spiritual maturity. This does not mean that one should give up on all the worldly comforts and ways of life. It only means that one should be true to themselves and to every creation of God. It’s as simple as analyzing the very statistical data at our office. Just take a look back at your life and analyze what you have done so far… have you harmed or hurt anyone? Have you cheated anyone? Have you misused anyone for your own selfish motives?

Being selfish is not a vice but being too selfless, definitely is! But you should understand how selfish or selfless you must be … and that’s why we are here…
Being pretentious is not cunning, but justifying it in a prayer is! Being judgmental isn’t unjust provided you judge yourself well…
Being hurt every time doesn’t make the world a devil’s lair but merely one’s immaturity to deal with situations and learning from them…

God has given us birth to mature our souls and rise to the higher realms. I don’t know how mature I am or will be in this life but I know that I have found answers and peace within… I no longer question God’s wisdom for I know that he brings me at a point where the road forks and that’s where I choose… I live …I learn.

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
Thank you for another day,
A chance to learn, a chance to play
Amen