Since the day I’ve been hitched everyone’s asking me this one question, “So … does life change after getting engaged?” Now if the question comes from a bachelor or a bachelorette, I can definitely give a first person account of how and what. But what bowls me over is when a very married person asks me this question! I try to look deep in their eyes and facial expressions to decipher whether this was rhetorical or are they actually looking for an answer. But my efforts are futile as they wear a vacant expression and the otherwise expressive eyes bear a faraway look!
To answer that question once and for all AND to all … married or otherwise … Yes, life does take a somersault :) You smile more often than before and the reason … is him :) You suddenly look different and others also notice this pleasant change in you :) Every song you’ve had in your play-list become dedications and they are all for one special person, rather it feels that all those songs were written keeping the two of you in mind, and although you feel foolish for thinking so, you find it hopelessly romantic! :) You want to spend every waking moment with each other and make every “bahana” (excuse) to catch up after work. He joins you for a very early morning walk and surprises his folks at home coz he never wakes up before the sun comes knocking on the window!
Now for anyone who has been there done that must be smiling to themselves thinking of those wonderful days! The days when he comes just to drop you home to spend those extra 30 mins with you! He comes to see you off when you are going away for a business assignment, not that you’ve never travelled alone but now you will always have him as your chaperone! Everything that you do is somehow because of him. You are free to think that all this sounds like a college kid fallen in love for the first time … well then how exactly do you describe being head over heels for that special someone…? :)
The other question that pops up is whether it’s a love or an arranged marriage. And shamelessly people show their disappointment at the mention of an arranged marriage! Does it have to be a love marriage for the couple to be interesting or fun loving for that matter? How we easily forget that we girls have forever fantasized just as Kajol did about the “Andekha Anjana” who will woo us in his own sweet and naughty ways? In fact the romance, the mystery and the love only grows with each passing day in an arranged set up. The getting to know each other process starts only once you are formally engaged and then begins an affair of a lifetime … full of sweet surprises, of a whole lot of first times, of stolen exchanges, of the unlimited miss you moments and never ending I love yous … :)
And yes, it’s not always this rosy. There are moments when you are surprised or shocked too in this getting to know process. You may have had a different picture of your beloved but he or she may have traits which may be different than anyone you’ve known so far, but you learn to love and live with those too … and I cannot find a better way to put it but in my fiance’s very own words … “There is nothing that I didn’t like about you so far, it’s just that I haven’t met anyone from a such a vivid circle of life but just as you said .. I’ll get used to it :)”
This brings me to all the questions that we two have in our minds. How will she/ he be? Will we be compatible just as we look we are today? Will we continue to have this kind of understanding in the future? Will we be able to make up after our fights and if so, how? Will we keep each other and our families happy? Will this frankness & friendship we have today change our equation once we are married? Will all our friends who warn us of frustrating times be right about those? Will we make it through all the trials, turbulence, fear & frustrations that life throws at us? Will we rejuvenate our love in all the joy, laughter and happiness? The questions in our minds are endless and each day unfolds an answer to these questions …
Just as the questions pop up, we turn another page of the story … :)
